Tuesday 27 July 2010

Conversation with a 17-month old.

Among many many new words and expressions, Little G now says the following:

Cool!
Let go! (Let's go! Usually when she has just picked up a bag - any bag)
Yeh peez (yes please)
Tha-kyew (thank you)
Foooooot (fruit, usually said urgently as she loves it)
Let see... (Let's see...)
Whoop! (Whoops! Said when she or we have dropped something.)
Look Daddy! (often said when she has successfully put an item of clothing on her head, a favourite game at the moment)
Night-night mummy
Ga Mau-ree (Grandma Maureen)
Lie Dow! (Lie Down! Shouted frequently to her new doll Betty. I've never shouted at her in my life so I've no idea where this comes from. Hilarious to witness. In fact she shouts most of the day lately, I presume and hope out of enthusiasm.)
Nee-al (navel - at first she pronounced it nee-naw, which I sort of miss)


I expect I'll think of loads more after I post this.


Tuesday 13 July 2010

Just me

I listened to the slot about 'mummy bloggers' on BBC Radio 4 Woman's Hour this morning. It was interesting but afterwards I felt pissed off. I'm quite sure it's my own insecurities talking here, but I felt that amongst all the jolly chat about making money and the 'bad' blogs not being known because they weren't engaging, I thought there was a whole load of people left out: the ones like me.

That is, 'mummy bloggers' who aren't funny, aren't popular, aren't particularly engaging, but still regularly write about the details and highs and lows of ordinary days in an ordinary life. I was a blogger long before I was a mum, and my style was just the same. I would love to be funnier, more popular, wittier on here, but I can't change how I am because I'm just me.

I'm well aware that the radio slot was probably highly edited and I'm not blaming the contributors or the programme, just putting my hand up to be counted as one of the hundreds of other mummy bloggers who just do it.

I'm proud of my blog, with its real emotions, and its photos, and its 7 years of archives, and its tiny handful of readers. I suppose to me a blog post could be the equivalent of finding an old postcard in a second hand bookshop. You read it, and it says nothing enlightening, but still it has the power to touch you because it's real. For a moment you are connected to the person that wrote it, or the person who it was written for, because the postcard has fallen into your hands years later and you are a human being too. I know there's lots of faults with that analogy but I like it anyway.















just an ordinary moment in our day

Monday 12 July 2010

Sleeping

Got LittleG to sleep without hand-holding tonight. That is a real achievement as it's the first time she's accepted it without a (major) fuss since last November. Crikey. I hope tomorrow night is as successful.

Sunday 11 July 2010

Talking

At dinner time tonight, littleG was showing her talking skills to the full. Towards the end of meals we usually offer her extra bits to make sure she's had enough before the meal ends, so we'll say "Would you like some....pear? Would you like some...yoghurt?" etc. She has picked this up a bit and for about ten minutes her little voice came out with something like this:

"Li suh......pa? (Like some...pasta?) Li suh...water? Li suh...fow-er? (flower) Li suh...eye? Li suh...no? (nose) Li suh...mao? (mouth)" and so on. Very sweet and funny to hear.

I am not being paid by these people

My lovely Aussie friend K brought with her some magical ointment when she visited last week. You've probably heard of it and I'm the last to know, but just in case, here it is:


It has cleared up a stubborn sore patch of baby-eczema under G's arm that had been there for months. I was able to cancel our doctor's appointment! I've just ordered 2 more tubes, and reading about it on t'internet, it seems it's good for all kinds of bits on the bod.

In other news, found myself feeling a bit teary about the whole lack-of-pregnancy thing today. Just a little. Having a possibly slightly shorter period than usual so began to clutch at straws rather and think that maybe I am still pregnant, etc etc, but am quite sure that's b0ll0cks really. Never mind. Life goes on and the second G is up from her nap she will demand every ounce of my attention once again so that will be helpful. At the moment much of my day is spent reading 'Little Miss Whoops'...

Yesterday Adriano and I discovered that houses seem bloody cheap in Rochester (Kent) and it's an hour's commute to his current job. Got very excited as I like it there - has cathedral, castle ruins, big river, lots of history especially Dickens-related. Just another one of our momentary 'Let's move to XXX' plans I expect, but still... fun to dream.

Thursday 8 July 2010

Headf*ck

We have had such a strange couple of days over here.

Tuesday, 5.50am, a digital pregnancy test turned positive, 2 days after my due-on-date, therefore at least 99% accurate result. Cue our heads spinning; butterflies in my tummy every time I thought of it; fear, joy, terror, wonder; looking at Little G as a big sister and not as an only child, etc etc etc.

Wednesday, 10pm, i.e. 40 hours later, my period arrived. So that was that.

Am a bit confused, but grateful that if it was going to end 'badly' it happened sooner rather later.

I realise how lucky I am: no matter what happens we have Little G. I know very well the pain of having only the disappointment to contend with. This time it was so different. I am lucky, no doubt about that.

Last weekend had visiting friend from Oz (hello K!) who I had not seen for 5 years - so good to catch up. I felt that my attention was so divided -so much I wanted to ask her but looking after Little G at the same time made straightforward communication a challenge. K was very patient with me interrupting tales of her last few years with such interjections as 'Yes, Gracie, a banana!' etc. If I hadn't done that we'd have heard G repeating her word for banana at 1 second intervals for hours.

Went to a concert: Ravel Piano Concerto for LH and Mahler 9. Enjoyed the Ravel hugely; the Mahler was great but about half an hour too long for my much-reduced attention span. I didn't get sucked in (in a good way) as I had for his 5th once at a BBC Prom.

Got to go, G has gone to sleep quite early tonight so must prepare for possible 5am start tomorrow. Am still suffering horribly with insomnia. Have decided to give up expecting sympathy for it from anyone whatsoever (except my mum, who can find sympathy for axe-murderers, probably). Will try very hard to stop moaning about it, but I HAVE NOT SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR 2 YEARS. You get the picture. Perhaps.

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* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *